Dr. Friendship

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Dr. Friendship Points Stuff Out:
40 Facts About Friendship You Already Know (Deep Down)

Part One - Great Expectations

Dr. Friendship Says...

1: Never Fall In Love With A First Impression... The Only First Impressions That Last Are In Wet Cement

2: Be Aware If Your Friend Tells You 'You're Just Like Family'...You've Been Demoted

3: When Your Friend Calls You Don't Waste The Entire Conversation Complaining She Never Calls You

4: Never Let Your Friends See You're Pathetically Needy

5: If You Only Have 'Activity Friends' Schedule An MRI...To Find Out If You Are A Man Trapped In A Woman's Body

6: Always Listen To Your Friend...So You Know Just When To Jump In With Your Own Story

7: Don't Kid Yourself...You Can't Be Platonic Friends With A Man

8: Never Be Friends With Your Adult Daughter...You Give Up The Right To Tell Her Her Skirt Is Too Short

9: Remember...The New Mothers In Your Playgroup Are Just Substitute Friends...Until Your Real Friends Have Children

Part Two - Jealousy & Loyalty>

10: Only Have One Best Friend At A Time...Or Hide Them From Each Other

11: Never Trust A Woman Who Claims Her Husband Is Her Best Friend...She's Really Saying, 'My Marriage Is Better Than Yours'

12: It Takes Real Maturity To Be Friends With Your Ex-husband... Wait Until After You've Had An Outer Body Experience

13: Try To Be Civil To Your Friend's Friends...Secondhand Friends Are Like in-laws, Part Of The Package, But Even TougherTo Deal With Because There Isn't Even An Inheritance To Look Forward To

14: Know When You've Overstayed Your Welcome... You Sneeze Once. Instead Of 'God Bless You," Your Friend Screams "Stop it, already!"

15: Don't Even Think About Throwing Your Psychic Friend A Surprise Party

16: Always Have A Minimum Of Three Friends At A Time...If One Moves Away & The Other Turns On You You'll Have A Back Up While You Reload

17: Never Confide In A Friend Who Uses The Expression 'Off The Record.'

Part Three - Money Madness

18: Be Aware That Your Cheap Friend Is Cheap With Her Feelings Too...Test Her With A Hug. She'll Give You A 92% Hug, Like She's Trying To Save The 8% Sales Tax

19: If You Lend Your Friend Money Never Say 'Don't Worry About It....' Then, She Won't

20: Don't Ask Your Friend How Much She Paid For The Chandelier She Swings On

Part Four - Couple Friendships

21: Just Because Your Best Friend Hates Your Husband, Her Husband Hates You & You're Not Too Crazy About Him Doesn't Mean You All Can't Go Out On Saturday Night

22: When Your Friends Divorce Listen To Each Side & Agree With Them Both... Don't Worry About It Getting Back To Them...The Odds Are They Aren't Speaking, Except Through Their Lawyers

Part Five - Weird Values & Annoying Habits

23: Be Helpful...Suggest Hair & Make-Up Tips To Your Transsexual Friend - Chances Are Her Ex-Wife Is Not In The Mood

24: Enjoy Your Friend's Complaining...See It As A Competition That You Can Win

25: Take My Word For It - Don't Give Advice

26: Be Sure To Frisk Your Kleptomaniac Friend Before She Leaves Your House

27: Memorize The 7 Habits Of Highly Annoying People & Feel Free To Add To The List

28: If You're Stuck For An Answer Change The Subject To Hair

29: E-Mail Friends To Re-kindle Old Friendships Without Ever Having To See Each Other Again

30: About Favors...Remember-If You Let Enough People Get Ahead Of You On Line The Movie Will Be Sold Out

31: Get Yourself A Puppet For A Best Friend...It Will Always Tell You What You Want To Hear

32: You Know You're Normal If Your Group Is Nothing Like The Ya-Ya's

Part Six - Old Friends/Boredom

33: Go To All Reunions - They Will Remind You Why You Didn't Stay In Touch

34: Take A Fantasy Friend To Lunch... When Every Conversation Feels Like A Re-run

35: Ask Yourself: If You Met Your Friend Today Would You Run The Other Way?

Part Seven - Shrinking About It

36: Go Ahead And Judge Your Friends - Who Else Would You Judge...Strangers?

37: Never Assume Your Single Friend Would Want Your Husband If He Was Free

38: Don't Be Friends With Your Boss... Unless It's The Only Way You Can Get A Raise

39: Don't Be Roommates If You Have To Hide Your Favorite Sweater

40: Always Remember... Everybody's Somebody's Fool

Part Eight - Famous Friends

Witty Quotes By The Well Known